Trading Backs

I was just reminiscing the other day about something we used to do growing up that we called "trading backs". Or in other words, we would take turns tickling/massaging/scratching one an other's backs. We would set a predetermined limit like 200 and then ask for 25 tickle or 75 massage or 100 massage and the person giving the favor would count to the number while tickling,etc. I don't really know where it got started. I think from my mom. She used to always get us to rub her sore back from her days work and when we would hit the right spot she would moan in agony yet sweet relief. I think that is where the "trading backs" began and the tradition carried on with us siblings even through adulthood. I remember when it was just my sister Kathy and brother Rob and I, home for the summers between semesters of college. We were working hard and saving our pennies for them to be quickly spent on tuition and books the coming fall/winter. We would all get home from work around midnight and even though we were dead tired and had to wake up the next more bright and early for work (some of us had two jobs) we made time to "trade backs" and it gave us a moment to calm down from our days work, chat and get some physical relief. From these experiences I learned a few things:

Trading backs meant different things at different stages, as I think many things do in our lives. When I was younger I mostly cared about the physical benefits of trading backs and all I could think about was my turn, my turn, my turn. As I got older these back trading session became more than just me. It became a de-stressor and it cemented emotional bonds between us. This bonding time became more and more meaningful on deeper levels. At least speaking for myself it did. This simple act appeared to be a small part of my life, and maybe that is all that it was for my siblings, I don't know, but for me it made a greater impact than I ever would have thought or understood.

I remember as a child that I always wanted the tickle but I never enjoyed it as much from my mom because her fingers were always "scratchy". She would apologize and say it was because of all the work she does with her hands and I used to be glad that my hands were not like that. But last night as I was tickling my sons back and he complained of my hands being scratchy, it reminded me of my mom and I was grateful for scratchy hands. Grateful to be able to say that I have scratchy fingers from my hard work. I know I have a long ways to go and I don't think I work as hard as my mom did/does, but I work hard and it feels good darn it! Not too long ago my sister shared and "aha" moment with me from when she was in her early years of motherhood, feeling torn down and ragged. She had a strong affirmation that this is what we are here to do. It is good to have fun, enjoy things, and take a break to rub one another backs so to speak, but work is important, especially the work of the Lord. We are taught that as a child when we learn about the Plan of Salvation, but I don't think we understand it fully until we are grown and are given greater responsibilities. So... I apologized to my son for having scratchy hands but I smiled a little bit inside.

So what do I take from all this? I think mostly, that I want to share these kinds of moments with my children. Because though these moments appear small, my children will be in my shoes one day reflecting on their life experiences and I hope at least some of the "insignificant" things we did in our home will be make an imprint in their minds just as "trading backs" did on mine.